Analyticus 2K7

OCD Corporation came out with their new line of computers called Analyticus 2K7 and it seems to be the most wanted tech toy in the market.

Our friend Paul, got one for his birthday from his pretty wife Marsha.

Analyticus 2K7 processes most requests that includes home budget calculation, Reminder System, Lawn watering, Kids’ routines, Pet care, Maintenance and Cleaning, Regional News and a plethora of other activities that you want your wife to take care and she doesn’t.

Analyticus 2K7 prints out a daily status report first thing every morning of the things to be done that day. It is supposed to print “Things” in a column and the “To Dos” in adjacent column. However, because of a bug created by the software development team that attempted to work on Fridays, the printing shifted the “to do” part by one row.

Things To do
Put Flowers ……………………………………….
Your Neighbor In your daughter’s bedroom
Your Credit Card Bought someone a diamond ring
Your Daughter Charges $37 a day…that is $1.54 an hour
Your Lawn Is going to be pink on top or may have corn rows
Your Wife Needs to be mowed twice a week (Watch the stripes)
Your Comb Needs to visit a dentist to clean teeth
Your Maid Needs to be replaced…getting old, buy a new one
Your Appetite Needs a hike
Your Cat Needs to be cut short
Your Son Needs to be neutered
Your Car Wants to take a crash course
Your Dad Needs the bearings changed. They are old
Your Fish Tank Needs a pint of Scotch
Your Family Jewel Needs to be scrubbed
Your Bald Head Needs to be polished
Your Beer Mug Needs a Cap
Your Mother-in-law Needs to be engraved
Your Soccer Teammate Needs to be given a card
Your Ring Finger Needs your old Armband
Holy Cross Church Needs the Nail pulled
The Local Proctologist Needs your Service
Your Dog Is running for Governor
Your pregnant Secretary Needs to be unleashed
Your mail Will deliver in 7 months
Your Computer Needs to be trashed
……………………….. Knows what is right

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2 Responses to “Analyticus 2K7”

  1. Luna Love June 16, 2007 at 4:25 am #

    “Your Dog is running for Governor.”

    I’d vote for him.

  2. Garry Conn June 20, 2007 at 5:25 pm #


    I couldn’t afford the paper and ink for my daily “To Do List” report!